So Good at Blogging....

Or not....

I love how I completely forgot about this blog. Now that I am not online dating ( for the last two years) I am so ready to talk about something else.... I need to find a topic that encompasses my daily life. I think everything I do is interesting and blog worthy.  I also know that big things are going to be happening to me soon. I feel like my life has been gathering speed, and I just want to document it.

So, to update this thing, Online dating did not in fact ruin my life, it saved it. Neighbor boy and I celebrate two years this Sunday the 12th! So excited! He is literally the best thing in my life.

Job - going strong

Weight loss - Ugh. I may have lost a few pounds... Time to get serious if I get a ring.

Cooking - I have tried so many cool recipies and I didn't document any of them. Gotta fix that!

Future Blogs.... I have a few things in mind.

Just when you least expect it....

In the year I was single I cannot tell you how many times I heard some variation of the phrase “the right guy will show up when you least expect it”.  Ok self… just stop looking… yeah that is super easy to do.  I think humans inherently search. Nobody really wants to be alone. I took my time, and tried to fix me. I wanted to be a person I would want to date.  I feel like I put my wants and needs above everything else for a good bit of time… and then Match.com happened. Oh good lord. I want to cancel it right now.

I went on that date with neighbor boy…. And it went fantastic. In fact… it’s is still going fantastic. We started at World of Beer…. Which is my hotspot… I know… The wait staff kept giving me knowing looks since it was my third time there with a new boy in a short week.  He showed up and was not really like the neighbor I remembered. Of course I remembered the skinny kid with harry potter glasses, or the gawky teenage who used to mow my parents lawn when I was home during the summers working my college jobs… I always knew his name, and his mother more so and would always ask how her three boys were… never did I expect to end up on a date with the older of the three. But there I was after accidently hitting on a guy online I said was too young for my age preference, but he responded back… and when I realized I had his number in my phone already since he had taken care of my cat the month before, I almost freaked out and said forget about it. Instead I went with it, asked him for drinks and proceeded to go with it for the entire night. We ended up hitting up more spots in downtown Raleigh and topping the night off at an Irish pub singing karaoke to a terrible 90s song… Tubthumping by chumbawumba… yeah I said Tubthumping. 

It was a great date, and I was honestly not expecting it…

I guess they were right.  

Life in general

I just realized I never updated this thing. July 2nd was the day of my date. It actually went pretty well, or so I thought. This guy was tall, a  pilot which is a super cool job, and he actually held decent conversation and we shared some laughs and a few kisses. Mr. Pilot though is terrible with the follow through, or perhaps completely not interested. I was a bit out there on the first date, which is not my norm. I just felt like I could be myself, which is apparently crazy. I thought things were progressing well, but he totally ignored me saturday which was fine as I was out getting my drinks paid for by a guy I knew from work! Such a good time with him! But things with Mr. Pilot fell apart sunday. I guess I just had my heart on my sleeve, because I was already upset that morning when I get yet another e-mail from my ex. I just wanted something to work out how I wanted. I know I let my ecpectations get the best of me, but all I wanted was for the ex to not be e-mailing me and the Pilot to be texting me, and of course neither really happened. Mr. Pilot did get back to me 9 hours later... which I am sorry I was an idiot and should have taken the hint then, but he acts really sincere, but then totally forgets about me. I can't read him at all. Frances said all pilots are players, and I didn't want to believe this about this guy, but gut is telling me just to let him go. I am a freaking catch, and he doesn't realize that I will chase a bit, but if you blow me off once I won't ever do it again. Learned my lesson... so for the next few dates I am just going to be coy and not wear my heart on my sleeve since it apparently makes me compeltely unattractive. I don't have much hope for him to contact me, although I would probably want to see him again.

So on to date two. I had been talking to Boots for a bit ( hang in there I will tell you why I call him Boots) Even longer than the Pilot, but he just was slower to ask me out. I feel bad because I had been kind of ignoring him since he was not really my type. He and I seriously had nothing in common. But he seemed sweet, and sometimes opposites attract. Well I get to the restaurant, and he is my height. Automatice NOPE. And he was wearing boots with a heel... Even bigger NO. I am seriously 5'3 on a good day and he listed himself as 5'6. apparently 5'6 =5'1 in BOOTS. He was so sweet, but a bit of a stoner, as he informed me about 5 minutes into the date. ugh. Not thanks. I am too old for that crap. Conversation was strained, and every time he said something he liked I hated it and every time he said something he hated I loved it. I knew it was gonna be trouble. Gee you are a fan of Phish and Grateful Dead... I would have never known. Weird thing was, he had the exact same smile as my friends husband, too bad it was located about 3 inches below my own smile. He was asking me all these odd questions about my goals in life, and I said travel, which is true, and then he was trying to get me to talk about how much I wanted a family like him, which is true... but not now. I think this kid just wanted me to push out a few midget babies after the date! I mean I want a family someday, but I want to see the world first, I love meeting new people, and trying new things. I am far to selfish to have kids right now. I want to spend my money on pedicures and flights to NYC, not bibs and diapers.

Well that said, these past few weeks, my diet has gone to hell, but the nervous energy of going out on dates made me kick it up a notch at the gym... and I have actually busted through my plateau.

So I do have a third date set up for the 12th, but I will update that later... I will name this one, Neighbor Boy, as I apparently have been paying match tons of money to hook me up with someone I already knew! Go figure.

Spaghetti Squash

So I spent the last week hanging out at the beach and eating paleo, and as expected I lost weight. even with my one "treat" day where I had a meal with fried shrimp and an fruity cocktail drink.  I brought home a few recipies that Stephanie and I made while at the beach and after 45 minutes at 375 degress in the oven I have enough spaghetti squash to last me the next month I swear. Well maybe not a month but at least a good week and a half. I not kidding.

Today I feel like crap because I went against my better judgement and had two slices of pizza today, so now my body is like, WHAAAAAT??!?!??! I am supposed to go out for drinks tonight but we shall see how many I actually do. Not sure that I am going to be super up for it as my stomach currently hates me at the moment but I am sure that is a combination of carbs and nervous energy.

Work is not stressing me out, but my right leg hurts a bit after three rounds of bowling last night. I pretty much got wiped on the floor, but I am not super competitive when it comes to bowling so I didn't much care.

We shall see how I feel tonight. Ugh.

Beach trip...part 1

Just got back from a 3 day va-cay at the beach with my sorority sisters. It was so much fun, but the voice in my head would not shut up.

I compared myself to the vast majority of my healthy happy sorority sisters with husbands, and houses and cute families. I just feel like I am missing out, or maybe I am not, but it is hard not to be a bit envious of their lives. I know they have problems too though, so I can't ever be mad or angry, I just wish I could eat how they eat and not gain weight, or have ridiculously nice legs in spite of never working out, because I work out like a beast and barely make a dent in my thighs. Though I did clean up pretty nicely for our dinner out at Margaritaville!

I know I ate and drank so badly this weekend though, and alot of the progress I had made before I hit my plateau is gone now. I gained while on vacation, it is hard not to. I can be on my schedule at home and not veer from it, but traveling does not always allow for perfect paleo meals and I kind of ate a snickers just because I really freaking wanted one after swimming in the ocean, I apparently had not burned as many calories walking on the beach as I would have liked, but I suppose I am my own worst critic. I just felt bigger than the other girls, but we are all such different heights and shapes I should not compare myself so much. It is hard not to though.

Well I am back home now, so I am back on track. We shall see how this goes...until saturday when I head out to a different beach, with my family for a week... and stephanie :-)

back on the wagon

Last night was the retirement dinner for my boss at the fanciest restaurant in Raleigh. We got all gussied up to celebrate. I went off diet alot, but only because the wine was free. Cost is a good way to keep me on the healthy plan, but when wine is free I can hurl myself off the wagon like nobody's buisness.

I wore a dress that previously didn't fit, but does now. Granted I had to pull myself out of it after the fantstic dinner.

Today I will remain back on track. We have all kinds of pastries, but I ate my hard bolied egg for breakfast. Back on track. Since I don't have a ton of money my beach trip this weekend will probably not allow for such fooling around with alcohol. That is my one demon. I need to put him to rest.

Plateau

I feel like I always end up stagnant. I get to a certain place in my success and then I just stop, not just in weight loss but in life.

I can get to a certain point and then it is like my brain shuts off, or my heart stops caring and I give up and retreat into myself and thats just the end.

I don't know if I am scared, or exhausted, or just following the wrong path, but I always end up in the same place.

My weight loss has plateaued for the last week, and I am not happy about it. It is super easy to stick with a diet when you see results on the scale, when your pants go down a size. But when its the same number for a full week, even after cheating a bit, and then going full force back into the diet, and cutting out your favorite diet coke for two days... it makes it hard to feel the fever to keep going.

I guess every diet gets to the point that is just not as fun, but I hate that I hit mine so soon. I am going to keep going, but i am nervous as I am going out of town with people who are not eating paleo, and when I am away from my house, and my schedule, it is hard to stick to healthy. I am going to try though. I don't want to gain weight. I will be at the beach with a bunch of skinny married girls, so I know already the voices in my head will be talking down to me.  Hanging out with my old sorority sisters should be stressful or painful. But part of me has a hard time adjusting to change. I like to be in control of things, and this is a situation that I will not have full control over. I am just going to try to enjoy myself, and enjoy the time with my friends. Alcohol is probably going to be present, but I will try not to drink my weight in beer.

I am actually excited to go to the beach with my family and stephanie the week after because stephanie will be there, and will be continuing her whole 30 (40) so she will be a good gague if I am getting off course, and as always it is easier to eat healthy when everyone around you is. I will definitely try to be there for her, and support her. She is doing such a good job. Maybe I should just get off the scale for a while.

It just makes me angry that I did everything perfect yesterday and I didn't even shed .1 of a pound. I have to bust through the plateau.