Better in time.

May is really a stressful time for me. I mean, it is my favorite time of year, but really a lot of factors all happen at the same time, so it can be positively stressful.

First stressor - work, this is when I have to start meeting deadlines for work, and things must be done... must be as in if not, I can pack my things in a box to go look for a new job. This has admittedly been a bad year for my work ethic as I have had many set backs, and interruptions on my normally precise work flow.

Second stressor - Money, I somehow thought it was a great idea to buy both a car and house for my birth month so all my major bills like car insurance, home insurance, home warranty and such come due this month. Financially I try to save all year, but seeing such HUGE chuncks fly out of my accounts can put a damper on other vacation plans.

Third Stressor - Emotional, This time last year I was going through the very end of a very sad breakup, My birthday always leaves me a bit sad too. I just had alot of greif that I had not really dealt with over the last year come crashing on me last month. I think I did a much better job of dealing this year than last year, but certain times I have to admit, my heart hurt. It was broken, and I earned the scars. I am also starting to notice that I don't enjoy my birthdays as much. As I get older it is just another reminder that I am not yet where I want to be which leads to the....

Fourth Stressor- My own expectations. I plan how things will go in my head, and they never end up that way in real life. I have such high hopes and dreams, and yet I find on a daily basis I have no idea how to go about achieving them.  My weight loss has been the main focus as of late, and I am doing fairly well. This lifestyle is easy to go with, and I am feeling much healthier. I think I am going to join a dating service. So many nights alone at home with my cat make me so lonely. I miss having a boy perspective too.

So I made it through May. June is hard too but not so much. July will be filled with work. I just have to keep going and try to enjoy each day as much as I can. Things will fall into place when the time is right. I need to keep my happy mantras going!  I feel much more positive now than I did a week ago. Amazing what a new month can bring.