I had lunch with one of my longest greatest friends yesterday. She is truly truly amazing. I may not get to see her as often as I would like, but she is the most level headed person I know, she is hilarious and she dispenses rock solid advice .
She told me to cut the crap, and get right with myself. THEN and only then would I be ready for a relationship.
She knows me fairly well since we have been friends since 10th grade in high school and she would never steer me wrong. She has the life I want. She is happily married, educated and has a successful buisness she herself created. When she Blogs people actually listen! haha. But she also told me that having dated a boy that I thought I was going to marry, and only just recently not hearing from him (though we have been broken up almost a year, despite him returning several times and awkwardly proposing marriage), it is time to give myself a chance to actually get over the trauma of 2012. A fresh start, and it is hard to focus on ME, when I am trying to make other people that I hardly know happy.
Poor little dude from OkCupid...
I have disabled my profile in hopes that maybe someday I will be back to find love ( maybe this summer or next fall) and I am going to only do things I want to do this spring season. I had this Yes Man quality for the last part of last year where if I was invited I went. I wanted to make new friends and do new things... but that can be tiring after a whiel. I will only see people I want to see. I am not really ready for a relationship or I would be way more excited at the prospect that a really great guy wanted to spend time with me. I find it all so time consuming... I just can't get into it. I find that it is harder to give my heart away so maybe I should just keep it for now and be really ready later one. It is scary, you know? I guess I needed more time than I thought.
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