I am taking a small break at work to do this entry, I have been working fairly diligently all day so during my lunch break I am going to take my twenty minutes to reflect and write.
One of the best purchases I have made recently were two maxi dresses. they are so comfortable, I may never want to wear pants again. I hated my legs so I never wanted to wear skirts or short dresses, but the long dress that covers everything is comfy and work appropriate. Of course I feel like most of my pants are too tight right now so to be free under my dress is great, and since part of the game on diet requires that you drink 100 ounces of water it makes going to the bathroom SUPER fast, which by the way, when you drink that much water at work, you literally have to go every hour on the hour like clockwork... old faithful if you will... but I am getting through it.
You are also supposed to have 5 small meals a day, and I am working on my third one of the day, a grilled turkey substitute patty on whole wheat bread with some guacamole and veggies. Can I just say the 100 calorie Wholly Guacamole individual packets are my favorite thing right now.
I love avocado as I have expressed multiple times in this blog though it is still very new, and it is great to grab some cucumbers, green peppers and celery to dip in it, and use a portion to spread on my sandwich. Amazing. I highly recommend it.
So I probably should have taken a before picture, since the ones on my computer are long gone after the lovely crash of October, but here is one I found from my previous travels in Korea. It makes me sad.
I need to lose the extra thirty pounds and tone up quite a bit. I will work on getting another true before picture. I am about the same size now as when this picture was taken, but I actually lost quite a bit of weight when I returned, only to gain most of it back in a few months of unrelenting holiday food and excessive partying on my part. I am not proud, in fact I was not even really happy. I was just trying to fill the space, fill the empty, because honestly there are alot of things missing in my life.
I am working slowly to get things back together, I bought a yoga mat yesterday! Wooooo.
So for Monday, the first day I managed to get all of my points accounted for, and I even went out to dinner (for free) at trivia. I am staying in tonight, and I think my teammate is going to come over and we are going to go for a walk around a nearby lake and talk. I need to find more activities to do with friends that do not revolve around food. I am going to have to have a stern talking to my mother as well. I feel like I need to be more in control of myself, my food and my time. As I am trying to follow this plan I see how I let others dictate ( not that they knowingly do so) my life. I need to be able to stand up for myself and say no, or find other activities to do with people that are not food centric. I associate going out with a big pasta dinner and glass of wine as fun with my friends but we could just as easily go for a walk or to a museum or movie... I need to move away from food and move toward more activity based outings. I have a hard time saying no, and even harder time being the only person eating a salad.
I am a people pleaser and that has to stop, I need to be an Ali Pleaser, because if I am not, who will be?
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